


Storm

by then00breturns1101



Series: Like the Cool Kids [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lots of Angst, M/M, Near Death, Relationship Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, suicide implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:56:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/then00breturns1101/pseuds/then00breturns1101
Summary: Grillby and Gaster are together, but nobody else wants them to be. Something breaks, and it breaks badly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow I'm so sorry! It has been a long time but man high school is stressful af and dealing with shit is hard so I won't give myself shit about it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> anyways! here's the next installment of Suffering™ for these poor boys: now in two chapters!

Gaster and Grillby had been living together for a while. Things were going relatively well. They were affectionate, caring, and happy to be together. Of course, word had spread fast, and now everyone knew about their relationship. It was hell getting through the days sometimes, but at least they had each other. They could get through this.

Of course, this attitude lasted for about two months before the constant abuse began to wear on them. Gaster started to break first.

He grew colder and more distant. He showed less affection and physical contact, even when they were alone, with nobody else around. Inside, he was desperate for the kind of contact that he and Grillby had before, but he was starving himself of it. He was convinced that it was his fault Grillby was being hurt, too, and that maybe they shouldn’t be together, even though he still loved him.

Grillby loved him, too, but seeing Gaster pull away was painful. And when Grillby was hurt, like many members of his family, he got angry. His anger wasn’t hot and violent like his father’s, but cold. He distanced himself, bitter pain clawing at his soul. His flame turned dull reds and hot whites around Gaster, and he started giving him the cold shoulder. Deep down, he knew that this wouldn’t make things any better, but he wasn’t being rational. He was lashing out, but instead of hotheaded violence, it was as cold as the icy snow outside.

This _did_ end up making everything even worse. Gaster, seeing Grillby go from comforting and caring to bitter and cold, just convinced himself to pull away even more. Grillby hated him, he thought. He wouldn’t care.

Things were falling apart. Both of them were hurting. Grillby’s soul felt like it was covered in shards of burning ice, not letting anyone near. Gaster’s was collapsing in on itself, drowning and empty. Both of them were hurting. Neither knew how to heal.

 

* * *

 

 

The winds were freezing and biting outside. Even in the hut, it was cold. Grillby’s heat mostly stayed in his body. On nights like these, they would usually hold each other. Grillby would keep Gaster warm while he comforted him. Grillby feared storms, and would always come to Gaster or comfort, but now he had his back to him, curled up against the wall. Gaster watched him, face pained, and waited until the hot, flickering whites of his flame turned red in his sleep. When they did, he slid off the bed and curled up against the wall.

It hurt. It hurt so much. Grillby hated him. Gaster was an idiot to think that anyone could ever love someone as broken and messed up as he was. Eventually, it became too much for him to keep in and he started crying. Heavy, hurting sobs wracked his shoulders. He longed for comfort, for Grillby’s voice to be there, quiet and calm, telling him it would be alright.

But nobody came.

Nobody ever would.

Tears still staining his face, Gaster pulled up his sleeve to see the scars. They hadn’t faded, but at least they were healed. Ever since Grillby had moved in, he had promised himself never to do it again, but now… nobody would care if he broke his promise, would they?

His mind storming with dark clouds, Gaster pushed over the small rug they had and pulled up a loose floorboard. His replacement knife was hidden underneath, exactly where he had left it. Grillby thought he had thrown it away. Carefully placing everything back as it was, Gaster cast one last look at him before opening the door outside.

Icy wind immediately struck him, threatening to blow him off his feet, but he stepped outside and shut the door. He couldn’t do this inside, even if Grillby was asleep. He had to be alone. Gaster edged his way around the corner to a side wall and sat down against it. He was shaking, both from the cold and emotion. He took off his sweater, baring his arm, and carefully began chipping away at the bone.

After a few cuts, Gaster was getting worse. He started crying again, his face stinging as the tears froze. Eventually, he just got up and started walking. He didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t know why he was leaving. All he knew was that he didn’t plan on coming back.

 

As Gaster was walking, he’d sometimes dig his knife into his arm just to keep the pain going. Eventually, he ended up dropping it. He had left his sweater next to the house. He was cold. He was so cold and so tired and he just wanted to sleep…

He stumbled and landed in the snow. After a couple tries at getting up, he just collapsed again. He didn’t have the energy. He was too tired. His last thoughts were regret and pain. He’d never see Grillby smile again.

 

* * *

 

 

Grillby woke up in the middle of the night. He groaned internally, trying to fall back asleep, but he couldn’t. Something felt wrong. He closed his eyes and heard something that put him off. Or rather, the absence of something. Gaster’s breathing wasn’t there as it normally was.

Part of Grillby wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep. Who cared if Gaster had gone out on a midnight walk? He’d be fine. But as much as he wanted to ignore the worry, it was creeping into him, and he turned over in bed. His fears were confirmed. Gaster wasn’t there.

Now Grillby sat up. Where could he have gone? It had to be outside, the empty shed and puddle of melted snow at the door proved that. Of course, with the storm, there was no way Grillby would go out. That could kill him. Gaster would be fine. He could just wear his coat… at least, he could, if it wasn’t on the floor in the corner. Shit.

So, Gaster was outside, in the storm, without his coat. Grillby could now feel fear wrapping around his soul. He could freeze out there in this weather… what if he already had? As angry as Grillby was with Gaster, he still loved him, and he didn’t want him to get hurt. Grillby put on his own coat, grabbed Gaster’s, and stepped outside.

 _Stars,_ it was cold. The snow felt like needles piercing him, so Grillby covered his face as best he could. He looked around the forest and saw nothing. He called out, but nobody came. Grillby looked down and saw footprints in the snow leading to the side of the house. He followed them and found an imprint, and then more footprints leading off into the forest. Shit. He walked after those as well, wincing as the snow soaked his pant legs and stung his ankles.

 

It felt like an eternity of walking. Grillby was tired and in pain, but he couldn’t just leave Gaster in the snow like that. It was so cold. He… he could die out there. The thought of Gaster dying while probably thinking Grillby hated him pushed Grillby to walk faster, trying to keep the footprints in sight.

Finally, he found a lump in the snow. Grillby ran towards it, knelt down, and saw that it was Gaster. He was only in a t-shirt, and he was so far gone he wasn’t even shivering anymore. Ice had built up on him. He barely even looked alive. Grillby inhaled sharply, pulling him up. He draped Gaster’s coat around his shoulders and started walking home, using the heat from his fire to try and warm up Gaster a bit.

 

Grillby was exhausted and relieved by the time they got home, and he had multiple black marks from the stinging ice and snow that had doused his flame. He shrugged his coat off and started the fire in the fireplace, sitting Gaster down in front of it and trying to get him warm again. As the ice melted off him, Grillby became aware of what was on Gaster’s arms. He gasped when he saw them, his flame dimming.

Gaster’s arms were covered in cuts. Chips and scratches ran all up and down both arms. Some were parallel and neat, while others were wild and irregular. Some were so deep Grillby could almost see marrow. He looked painfully at Gaster’s unconscious face. This was Grillby’s fault. He had abandoned Gaster. Gaster had needed him and he turned away. Grillby had turned away from him at his lowest, at his most vulnerable, and then Gaster turned on himself with no one to stop him.

Grillby felt the hiss and sting of tears on his face. He put his arms around Gaster to warm him up, resting his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Gaster,” he whispered, voice thin. “I’m so, so sorry.”


	2. Chapter 2

It took at least an hour for Gaster to awake. Grillby was still holding him, black streaks on his face from the tears. As Gaster came to and realized what had happened, he took only a few breaths before collapsing into weak sobs interspersed with fits of coughing. Still, Grillby held him, reassuring him and rubbing his back as Gaster clung to him. It was a while before Gaster’s crying subsided enough that he could talk. He took a shaky breath and spoke.

“’M sorry, Grillby…” he whispered hoarsely, voice muffled by Grillby’s shirt. Grillby shook his head and held him tighter.

“I’m the one who should apologize,” he began. “I hurt you. It’s my fault.”

“Don’t say that, I started it. I pulled away first…” At this, Grillby gently pulled back from Gaster, cradling his face and looking at it sadly.

“Gaster, the point isn’t who started it. The point is, you were hurting, and you needed me. I knew that. But I cut you off and left you alone, and…” he trailed off, loosening his hands and looking away. Gaster put one of his hands on Grillby’s and Grillby pulled him into a gentle embrace. Gaster let his head rest against him. After a few moments, Grillby said something more.

“…You hurt yourself again.”

Gaster held on tighter. “I know. I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I broke my promise.”

Grillby reassured him again, telling him he shouldn’t make himself feel worse for… feeling bad.

“We should probably take care of those, though,” he said. Gaster nodded reluctantly, pulling back and wiping his eyes. He went to the sink and started washing them as Grillby got the bandages. Once Gaster’s arms were clean, he wrapped the bandages around them. Gaster sat on the bed, slumped over and looking down, as Grillby sat beside him.

“I don’t want to see you hurt,” he began. His flame was low and dull. “I… I wanted to be with you to help you. To protect you. To be there for you. And then I just let you spiral down and do… and do that to yourself again.”

“I knew you were hurting, too,” Gaster replied. “I remember seeing those sad looks you’d give me and it broke my heart, but by then I’d convinced myself that it was better this way, that you’d be less hurt in the long run if I pulled away. When you stopped trying to get me to talk, I thought you hated me, and… I guessed that would make it easier. To… to leave. Since I didn’t think you would miss me.”

Grillby wrapped his arms around Gaster, kissing him on his cheekbone.

“Of course I would miss you. I’m sorry for having been so cold. I love you.” Gaster turned his head and kissed him back.

“I love you too.”

Grillby caressed Gaster’s face, looking him in the eyes.

“It’s going to be okay. Please, talk to me if you feel like this again, okay?”

Gaster nodded, moving forward to kiss Grillby again, and he returned the action. They held each other, sighing, crying, but they weren’t hurting as much anymore.''


End file.
